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Post by Matthew Grimaldi on Jul 26, 2009 22:06:50 GMT -5
OOC: This is open to one or two people. No explosions or death.. Sorry. Not exactly fluffy either. If people want to know about Krys' past I can sneak that in.. I just wanted to see who would follow (one or two) and then just have a little fun while we waited for 'Flying' because taking turns is hard. )) In five days it would be her birthday. Most would have wanted to be home for the celebration or with friends, but Krys wasn't exactly swimming in either. The closest thing she had to a home was her cruddy apartment back in New York City near her team. She'd be with them soon enough (tomorrow afternoon to be exact) but for now she was stuck in Quantico.
She had given a speech to the University that morning. It went alright, no sign of anyone she recognized from the BAU though. Then again she had pretty much done her little ramble and hurried off. The rest of the day was spent isolated in her makeshift lair occasionally pestering Penelope while under the guise of working on her new program which was just about done anyways. Truth be told, Krys had just wanted company and that seemed like something Garcia had been able to give.
She stayed as late as she possibly could. It was growing dark and soon Krys had to leave. But luckily, tonight she had plans. The director of Counter Terror had phoned her up and given her a birthday present, a really great and unique one in fact. Different, just like herself.
Walking down the street with two bags instead of one she couldn't help but feel like she was being followed. In fact, she felt that way since she had been walking down the hallways of the BAU. Still, she kept her pace and upon arriving at her destination she slipped inside. If whoever it was had followed her in they'd have to make their way quietly down a dark hallway, a few turns and then they'd see it.
It was an ice skating rink. Right behind plexi glass there was the ice, the etchings for hockey games beneath the foggy, cold surface. Lit, obviously well past it's closing hour. Turns out the deputy director had phoned in a favor and knowing that their odd little analyst liked different things, he had phoned in across state lines for an odd little 'favor' to have it opened during the summer time, let alone at the late hour.
Upon further surveilance there was Krys Robin, skating across the ice not like a champion or anything, but she seemed to be having fun going as fast as she could. Wearing jeans, black skates, and a red scarf with a matching winter hat, she sped around with vigor that was to be reckoned with. Unfortunately she lacked the ability to stop so every time she tried to she'd end up just slowing down and going in a circle until she came to a complete stop, nearly causing herself to fall over multiple times. But as soon as she half haulted she'd be off going again, though this time she was directly facing whoever followed her.
When she saw who it was her eyes widened and her mouth fell open, unfortunately for her the speed and her skates carried her farther than she would have liked and soon she collided right with the plexi glass, disappearing right behind it with a loud thud and a crash.
"I'm okay." Came her voice though she made no move to immediately stand.
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 27, 2009 11:00:29 GMT -5
Reid had had a long day. The team had been called out to Arkansas for a case. It was a pretty bad one at that. There had been three rape murders in the last two months and he was devolving fast. He tried to rape and kill another, yet she had gotten away before he could kill her. That's how they found him. So their day ended on a happy note, at least a little one. It wasn't much when there was already three dead, but at least they had saved one, actually she had saved herself and then they saved his next victim before he could even try to rape her. All in all it was a pleasing day. When they had returned to the BAU it was late and most everyone had gone home. While Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Rossi left Reid stayed behind with Hotch, who was locked away in his office so it was like the young genius was alone. He didn't want to go home because he was afraid to sleep. Over the last few weeks, even before the plane crash, he had been having nightmare, again. But sitting in the dark bull pen by himself wasn't much better.
So he decided to go, at least somewhere where he wouldn't be alone. As he walked down the silent halls he noticed someone walking in front of him. Slowing down he realized it was Krys. At first he was going to call to her, they hadn't seen each other in a while. But some how he lost his voice. He wasn't sure why but he couldn't let her know that he was there. Something just seemed off. Of course it was only the creepy feeling he was getting from his dream that was making him feel that way, but still. He remember so clearly the scars on his back. The ones that she didn't want anyone to know about. So he decided to follow her and see where she was going. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go, he wasn't going home that was for sure. Yet he didn't want to talk to her, not right now. Yet something kept him following her.
When she entered the building he waited a second out side the door before following. Inside he got goose bumps. It was dark and kind of cold. He didn't know where was and just wanted to leave. He had never liked the dark. Yet the fact that Krys had gone down the long hall way made him go on. Walking so quick and slow that you could hear a pin drop he finally made it to the end of the"tunnel". What he saw was not what he had expected. It was Krys going in a circle on an ice ring. Reid stood there in shock for a moment, forget that he had just followed her here. When she saw him his jaw dropped and she ran into the wall. Shocked Reid ran to the entrance onto the ice, not even realizing that he would be more of a burden than a help on the slick surface, and ran, half falling over to Krys. "You okay?" He asked even though she had already said she was okay. "I'm sorry, let me help you up." He added as he tried to pull himself to his feat unsuccessfully.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 27, 2009 11:35:37 GMT -5
Flat on her back, the data analyst stared blankly up at the ceiling of the rink for a few moments more so from the shock that she had actually skated right into a wall. The person she had seen on the other side of it momentarily forgotten as she mentally punished herself for never having learned how to stop. What made her think that this was a good idea? Oh yeah, the ice skating in summer part. That'd just about do it for anyone, this she was sure of.
"You okay?"
Blinking she was brought back to the real world by Spencer's voice. "Yeah, yeah. Fine. It happens." Krys cringed before rolling onto her side, she could feel the cold wet of the ice even through her clothes but it provided some relief to where she had rammed into the wall. No wonder ice rinks were cold, it was because so many people fell down or crashed into walls! Okay, maybe not.
Rubbing her arm it was then she looked up just in time to see scrawny Spencer scampering onto the ice looking far more panicked than she was. This sight made her smile as he nearly fell, obviously not even looking or even listening in his own worry. "Calm down Spence." She attempted to speak up but still he was flailing about, nearly falling himself several times (even when he wasn't in skates).
Now he was attempting to pull her up, all be it unsuccessfully and since she was already wobbily with standing on her skates this only seemed to complicate things. Wiggling and shaking about the inevitable happened and when Krys fell back down she took Spencer right down with her. She didn't seem all that upset or hurt by it however, for soon she was actually laughing having ended up in the same position she was just seconds before. "Spencer Reid you are king of the ice rink!" For some odd reason she found the whole situation amusing.
"You alright?" Turning her head to the side where she was laying down she looked at the boy genius, her nose slightly wrinkled with curiosity. "How'd you know I was here?" She questioned, actually intrigued. He was amazingly brilliant enough, was he also a psychic? Everything seemed possible when it came to that man's mind. "I thought you were in Arkansas.." Had they finished the case already? Worse yet, had something terrible happened and was he here to break the news to her? Once again anything was possible.
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 28, 2009 11:02:45 GMT -5
Reid had never been on an ice rink in his life. One of the sad facts of being a boy genius. He never had the time, or the will, to do any of the things normal kinds loved. Not to mention he lived in Las Vegas, sure they could make a place cold enough for ice skating but who owned the cloths to go in there when they had never seen snow in their lives. Being in the ice was the worst idea he had had in a long time, he was unbalanced and ready to fall down. Trying to help Krys up, the second bad idea, he found himself on the ground with her. As she started to laugh he just sat there with pink cheeks. He felt so stupid.
When Krys inquired how he knew she was there he only became more embarrassed. Feeling the wet ice soak through his pants now he was feeling kind of cold. Trying to get up, forgetting about Krys for a moment, she could help herself up. After a minute, and desperately clinging to the wall Reid was on his feet. He knew he couldn't avoid the question any more. Not to mention Krys was problem worried that he was back already. As far as he knew her team's job took a lot longer than their some times. "Well... the case ended and well I'm tried." he said not even going to mention the fact that he was having nightmares. "As I was leaving the BAU I saw you and wanted to talk with you... so I followed you..." He said wishing right after that he had made up a lie. Sure he didn't want to lie to her but he was sure he could have convinced her he had just happened to walk into this building not knowing that she was there. That sounded so much less like a stalker.
Deciding to try and take the attention off of him for a second he looked around the rink then back at Krys and asked, "What are you doing here? I'm pretty sure that this things are closed during the summers." Actually he knew as a fact that they weren't open in the summer, but he had never been so he had no really data to support his notion, for all he knew the rules could have changed since the last time he had seen it.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 28, 2009 11:18:44 GMT -5
"Did your case end well?" Blinking she propped herself up on her elbows, watching Spencer fumble about. She was a tad disapointed that he didn't throw caution to the wind and just lay on the ice, then again she doubted anyone would do so other than her. She had been informed several times by complete strangers that she was a weirdo so by this point she believed them, but she had long accepted it as fact so there was no point in worrying about it.
"Where I used to live you could get like three feet of this stuff during a good winter." She explained while poor Spencer was struggling at the wall even just in shoes. Krys came from Upstate New York where snowday was one of the most commonly used words. "Not so much ice, but snow."
Without so much as a second thought she pushed herself to her feet and walked toward the wall, reaching out she pressed against Spencer's back helping to steady him against the wall so that he wouldn't topple over again. This was a simpler task in skates than she had expected which was probably a good thing, because if she slipped she could have hurt herself or the poor man who had followed her.
"If you're tired you should be in bed." She grunted, now struggling to keep him up with his every movement. Getting frusterated she plopped right down, untying her skates roughly she moved to grab her shoes which she had placed on the ice by the other wall, shoving them on (so she could have a better balance) she hurried back over to him finally managing to hold him up, though she was a great deal shorter than him. "You followed me?" Her brow wrinkled up with confusion but she still kept her hold on him to keep him on his feet somehow. She wasn't sure she liked the sound of that. Had she done something wrong?
She was about to inquire as to what he wanted to talk to her about, her heart nervous with his choice of words, but soon he was asking another question and she was momentarily, and happily diverted. "My boss made a phone call. It's an early birthday present. My first official one." She brightened quite noticably in talking about it that it was easy to see that this wasn't a regular thing for her. "He called a friend and they opened it up. Contrary to popular belief, some skating rinks are open during the summer." She added with a little smile before she finally released him, now grasping the wall beside him with her own hands. They were cold, she squeezed them in an attempt to get the feeling back.
"I'm sorry you fell Spencer." She said quietly, staring at the wall in front of her. Her hands still squeezing the cold plastic of the guard. Her thumbs drew idle circles on the hard material. She really had no need to apologize but she still felt the urge to do so. Somehow she always seemed to get Spencer into situations he hated being in, and she felt bad for it.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Oh boy, she knew she would regret asking *that* one so she didn't even look at him when she uttered the words out of fear of chickening out.
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 28, 2009 15:33:29 GMT -5
Reid smiled. "I'm from Nevada, Las Vegas. I didn't see snow until I joined the FBI." He said kind of sadly. He actually hadn't known what a "snow" day was really. Amazing that had been 6 years ago. It didn't feel that long. And now he really lived snow, not that he liked being in it, he hated the cold really, though he would never tell anyone that. He liked the hot dry air of Nevada. That was where he group and was used to. Though with his job he got to be around all kinds of weather, and had gotten used to dealing with it.
he was glad when Krys tried to help him stay up, he didn't want to fall again. It kind of hurt, he really couldn;t tell why anyone would want to do this and fall over and over again. It made no sense to him. Yet people seemed to like it, the speed, defying gravity. Whatever it was, they liked it. Reid was just weird for not liking it. When Krys heard that he had followed her he was scared suddenly. She defiantly sounded surprised and worried by that. Luckily his next question distracted her from it, at least for a little while. Reid knew it was her birthday, Garcia had told everyone and anyone even if they didn't know her that it was her birthday. She was actually planing a surprise birthday party. Reid would go but some how he thought that either the surprise was a really bad idea or it was an assume one, he wasn't quite sure, he seemed to be leaning more to the bad idea for some reason.
"It's okay..." he said when she said she was sorry. She had no reason to be sorry what so ever. It was Reid that followed her and jumped on the ice, and frankly there was very little that Spencer was comfortable doing. So anything she got him into was going to be new most likely. His thought's were pulled back when she asked what he wanted to talk to her about. He knew what he wanted to talk about, something that had been putting a wedge in their relationship ever since the plane crash. But he didn't want to ask, he was afraid that by doing so the little friendship they had would be gone. That he would scare her away. For a second he thought about lying and dropping the thing forever. Then he realized that this wasn't his life he was trying to better. it was her's. And if there was something he could do he wanted to do it. There was no way he could just drop it.
Sighing he feel to the ground, half by will. he then sat up against the wall and pulled his knees near his chest. "On the island... I saw some scars on your back... You said that they were from soccer... but Krys... I know they weren't. I know you were abused. Please don't be mad at me, but I'm worried.... I... I don't want you to be hurt... So please if you need any help... or if it's still happening I can help...." he looked at the ice bellow him afraid to look at Krys. He knew he was right, there was no doubt in his mind. He just didn't know what Krys was going to do about it. He wasn't sure what his never move was going to be.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 28, 2009 15:47:14 GMT -5
Spencer's words were a rare showcase of boldness and she wasn't sure if she was more shocked by the subject matter or the fact that he was actually bringing it up. Either way she was stunned into silence. Her lips slightly parted and her face had warped into one of subdued confusion. No words came at first and she could only turn her face to stare at the plexi glass while Spencer sat near her feet, leaning against the wall.
He knew. Oh god, he knew more than she ever wanted anyone else to know. Matt knew, but it wasn't something they spoke about after the initial interrogation when she was younger, before her job at the FBI. Matt didn't ask her to talk about it, he didn't bring it up so she was allowed to deal with it in whatever means she saw fit. But now it was being thrown in her face, though of course Spencer wasn't being rude about it, and she didn't even know how to function. It was easier to pretend on the outside that it didn't even happen. But now, she had to talk about it. Spencer was a smart man, she couldn't lie to him.
Krys bit her inside cheek carefully in thought, holding her breath for a moment. She knew that he had spotted her scars on the island but a small part of her wished that he bought her excuse, just this once maybe he had a momentarily lapse of stupidity. Releasing her cheek she let out a soft sigh, though it pained her chest. Finally, after a long while she turned her head to look back at Spencer. What could she possibly say?
"How exactly would you help?" Wow. A rare case of bluntness on her part and her face was perfectly serious, even a challenge. She'd love to hear what he came up with. The abuse was no longer happening once her father had sobered up and she still visited him on holidays and other occasions. But Spencer didn't know this so what exactly did he think he was going to do? Play superhero? Report him? They were all awful scenarios.
Even though she had just spoken one sentence it was clear she was becoming increasingly frusterated and annoyed for soon both of her hands took off her hand and ran through her brown hair. The different possibilities running through her mind. Now Spencer knew, soon everyone would know. The last thing she wanted was everyone looking at her and thinking 'poor baby'. She didn't want attention on her! Not about that!
Suddenly Krys slammed her hands against the wall roughly, looking at the wall with a hardened gaze. Why couldn't she think?! Shaking her head she looked exasperatedly to the boy genius. "It's not your job to help me Spencer. You don't have to help someone just because you know them." Now Krys wasn't exactly the best at understanding friendships but she was sure that for once she maybe understood something better than Spencer. Of course she felt bad for yelling at him and 'pushing him away' but she was running out of options. This was the only defense she knew other than her random facts.
Briskly she pushed herself away from the wall and moved across the ice to get some space between them. Roughly she threw her hat to the ground and attempted to kick it, missing. She wrapped her arms around her chest, now a good eight feet from the genius as she looked to the ground. "It doesn't matter. It's not happening anymore, okay?"
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 28, 2009 17:19:36 GMT -5
Reid heard the harshness in her voice. He knew this wasn't a good idea. The question she asked took him by surprise. He wasn't sure what he would do. If it was till happening, which earlier he had decided it didn't seem like it was, he wasn't sure what he could do. Finally he answered in a soft voice, maybe to soft for her to hear him, "We could talk." He was thinking about all the abuse he got from his class mates when he was in school. If had had someone to talk to would it have been more bearable. Would having a shoulder to cry on making things go away. He wasn't sure. But it was the only thing he could do to help. Maybe he was wrong from bring it up, yet some how even through the anger he got from her he felt that it was the right thing to do.
When Krys suddenly hit the plexi behind him he jumped and pushed himself a good foot from the wall, being on ice made the movement really easy. He didn't think that she was going to hit him, but he really didn't know her when she was mad. It scared him. This was his fault and he had to stick to it though. If anyone could talk sense into her it was him. Everyone else was to afraid to talk about it, they thought that it was a bad idea to bring it up but Spencer knew that keeping your emotions hidden inside of you was the wrong thing. He almost got himself killed when he didn't share what was happening in his head once on a case. It was the wrong thing to do, and she needed to realize that.
"I want to help!" He said a little more harshly than he wanted. bring his voice back level he added, "I care about you, and don't want to see you hurt." With that he pushed himself back to the wall and pulled himself up against it. He didn't want to look at her, but if he was going to be firm against her then he was going to have to. Still a little unbalanced he stood there and watched her as she told him it wasn't happening any more. That was a good thing but he still frowned. That meant it was going to be hard to talk some sense into her. Taking a big breath he said, "yeah, but it obviously is still bothering you. The physical abuse is over but there's still psychologically abuse going." Yeah that sounded like something any psychologist would say. "You've kept this secret all this time, not telling anyone. That's like reliving the moment over and over again by yourself. It wont go away until you tell someone, trust me, I know." And he did know. Sure his father or mother didn't hit him, but that person didn't matter. It was always the same. And if it came down to that he would share his own abuse, get her to trust him. Softly he added, "That person doesn't have to be me. I don't need to know what happened, but I think you should at least tell someone..." He didn't want to say shrink knowing that that could very well upset her more. Sending her to therapist might imply that she is crazy, different, when that was far from the truth.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 28, 2009 20:45:59 GMT -5
"We could talk."
"There isn't anything to talk about." She spoke with her back to him, still some distance away on the ice. She hadn't meant to be so mean to Reid, though maybe she did just to drive him away. This was a topic that she had become used to avoiding. She just had to be the happy go-lucky data analyst and nothing more. She liked it that way. It was predictable, it was routine, it was safe. As a child her routine was coming home to be beat about by her drunken father, nowadays she came home to an empty apartment or hotel room. Some would say that wasn't all that pleasant but Krys would beg to differ. It was heaven compared to what she had known. Why did Spencer have to go and ruin what she found was heaven?
"It happened. It's not happening any more. There's nothing to talk about." She stated in an equally soft voice, squeezing her arms around her chest. Still she knew deep down he was trying to be helpful, but didn't he realize that it was useless? What did he want her to do? Cry? She was halfway there now but her stubborness kicked in and she wouldn't allow herself to, not in front of Spencer who was the first, what she thought of as a, friend that she had in ages. No, that would ruin anything. She was supposed to be silly Krys.. Not this. No, no one was supposed to know.
Turning around she spotted Spencer hovering by the wall looking a bit frightened from when she had slammed her hands against the rim. Immediately her heart sank and she felt absolutely sick which caused her to blurt out rather loudly: "You see?! This is why it's better left alone! Look at how you're looking at me!" Krys shook her head and looked down at the ice, rubbing her neck again which she did when she was nervous. Her face was red and beat warm, she could feel it.
"I want to help!"
"You can't help!" Her head snapped right back up as she yelled back. Spencer's harsh voice had been surprising but she had very little time to take it in. No, there was no rehearsal or normalcy to this reaction. Now it was just action and reaction bouncing simultaneously off of one another.
Retracting her voice also went down a level or two in volume. "You can't help everyone Spencer. It's not your job to."
"I care about you, and don't want to see you hurt."
For a moment in hearing these words Krys' gaze softened. He cared about her? Her lips slightly parted in wonder. What did that even mean? Did that mean they were friends? Was it a special friendship? How many people did Spencer Reid follow around and then tell them that? Suddenly she had a headache and had to look away.
"Don't say that. Please don't." No, caring about people only ever ended badly and she didn't want that to happen to Spencer. Krys knew what an aching heart felt like it, or an aching body for that matter, you would be miserable. She didn't want that for Spencer because she actually cared for him as well, though right now she wasn't saying it. She wanted to, but just couldn't bring herself to do it. It would be for the best anyways. She was a failure just like her father said all those years ago, Spencer didn't need a failure hanging around.
"You've kept this secret all this time, not telling anyone. That's like reliving the moment over and over again by yourself. It wont go away until you tell someone, trust me, I know."
"You don't know!" The defenses were up again and from the volume of her own yelling Krys almost slipped on the ice but somehow regained her balance as she stormed right over to him. She was actually offended that he would even say that, of course she didn't know his past either. But by golly she was going to call him on it.
"Don't say you know because you don't. It's not the same as handing in a report an hour late Spencer. It's not the same as being rejected by a job.. Like you'd even know what that would feel like." A back handed compliment? Perhaps. Even then Krys couldn't be entirely cruel. "You have no idea what it's like!" She felt her voice crack and after staring right into his eyes for a few moments she slid down beside the standing man, back against the wall, covering her face in her hands in an attempt at hiding.
After a long quiet she finally spoke up in weighted murmur. "Matt knows. I don't want to tell anyone else." Well, that certainly explained the nature of their relationship and why Matt was so protective of her all of the time. Her fingers dug into her hair and scalp, she couldn't even look at Spencer anymore and instead stared out at the ice.
"Please stop psychoanalyizing me Spence.. I can feel it from here.." She murmured quietly, trying desperately hard to joke with her usual sarcasm despite how crappy she was feeling.
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 28, 2009 22:11:45 GMT -5
Reid listened to what Krys had to say. Taking in every word with careful ease. She was abused as a kid then, and had gotten away from it. But there was psychological abuse too. She was scared to let him know. She didn't want him to know. It was a classic case of denial. If they don't talk about it than it never happened. You try and forget but you can't you always know. But as long as no one else knows its not real just a nightmare that wont go away. Reid looked at the ice, afraid to look into those dark eyes any more. This was a totally different side of Krys and he thought for a moment that it must have been a parent, this anger only comes from abuse of someone you were suppose to be able to trust. Some say that abuse was genetic, Reid never believed that, but now he was starting to think that it might.
"It's not my job to help everyone. But I can't go and not help a friend." He said softly trying to make her understand. He had to do this, he had to help her. He hated to see anyone hurt, but when he cared about them it was even worse. There was no way that he was going to let this go. He was going to keep trying until she got the point that he was just being a good friend. He really did care for her! It only confused him more when she said not to say that. To say that he cared for her. Why would she do that? Was there more to this then he knew? It was like she was afraid to be loved and love others. Right now it was to much for Reid to analyze he needed moment to think.
Of course she hated that he had said that he knew. Everyone said that and 9 out of 10 times they had no idea. But he did. The only this was that she didn't know that so he let her be angry at him. It was her right. That's when she said that Matt knew. Reid wasn't sure what she meant by that. Either he was abused himself or knew some one who was. But that did explain why the two were so close. Why Matt looked out for her so much. Yet even he didn't want to talk about it. he just let Krys get depressed like she had with in the first few minutes after the plane crash. Just let her run off and be by herself for a while. That was not the way to deal with this.
Reid hadn't even noticed he had fallen silent for a few moments until Krys told him in a simi-normal voice, "Please stop psychoanalyizing me Spence.. I can feel it from here.." With a soft laugh he joined her next to him, not even having realized she had moved. Leaning his head against the hard wall he shut his eyes for a moment. Slowly he started to talk afraid of what might come out. "You say I don't know what you went through. But the truth is I do. I was a student prodigy. I was 12 years old when I graduated high school. I have an IQ of 187, can read 20,000 words per minute, have an eidetic memory. All things that you might think are cool but being ten and in high school is not fun. I got beaten up every day. Tied to the foot ball goal post. Stuffed in lockers. I never told a soul about it, I mean the teachers knew and tried to help but theirs very little they can do with out making the kids want to hurt me more for being weak or what ever. I had no dad, and my mom.... well she wasn't always there..." Reid's voice was soft, almost to quick. A single tear made it's way down his cheek as he thought of all the pain of his past. He kept his eyes closed and his head forward waiting for Krys to say something.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 28, 2009 22:31:05 GMT -5
When Spencer began to speak about his own past Krys couldn't help but listen. She never would have guessed. She had blamed his awkwardness on his intelligence, not anything more than that. Just because she treasured intelligent people didn't mean the rest of the world did, and sometimes she forgot that living in her dillusional little world where it was her job to make everyone else happy.
Even now she could hear the pain in Spencer's voice and she felt terrible for questioning him and making him that upset. Her own head against the back of the wall she saw the tear move down his cheek. Initially she felt her arm lift, equipt with sleeve, as if ready to wipe it away but thought better of it at the last minute and instead rested her arms in her lap as Spencer continued speaking. Tensely her hands squeezed together.
Now looking straight forward again she opened her mouth to inhale. The air was cold against her warm throat from the earlier yelling so it actually took her a moment before she could speak, her voice barely audible. "It was my dad." At first that was all she could say. She let those words sink in and though she had said it quietly for a moment she felt like they had been uttered far too loudly. "My dad... Used to drink a lot. And he'd come home and..." Oh god, where was her voice when she needed it? Trailing her eyes up to the ceiling she acted like the words that she desperately needed were located up there.
"I have two younger sisters and one little brother. They're all biological, I'm the only adopted one. I don't think that had anything to do with it though." She murmured quietly, now staring down at her lap as she shifted about uncomfortably where she sat. God how she wanted the ice to melt into water and swallow her right up. "He'd come home and move.. Move right past them and right to me and I always wondered why.. I always thought may- may-" Her voice was giving out but determinedly she swallowed with a cringe, wanting so badly to continue on now that she had started. "Maybe I did something that I didn't know that I did. But maybe I did something to deserve what..." Her mouth clamped shut again and her hands ran nervously through her hair. Why was she even blabbing like this?
"One time... I dropped a glass on the floor and it broke. I didn't mean to.. Really.." Her eyes welled up with tears as she stared down at her lap, feeling seven years old all over again and she was being ridiculously apologetic, this probably wasn't a good idea. "I didn't mean to.. I just wasn't paying attention.. I got distracted because the dog was barking and I just.. I don't know." Now she was becoming increasingly nervous and agitated which was evident by her body posture. "I dropped it, and it was an accident.. Really." On the verge of tears now but she was desperately holding back.
"So he grabbed me by the neck and dragged me upstairs and..." She couldn't even finish the thought and reverted back to what she had been saying. "I should have been paying attention. I always pay attention. I always pay attention." She repeated before running her hands through her hair again with a bit of a whimper. "Did you know that Catwoman the film was originally supposed to be done with Michelle Pfiefer but she turned it down? Did you know that Godzilla was a girl and had a baby named Godzukie?" Her voice shook and was like a small child's as she brought out her only defense, trying to calm down apparently wrapped up in her own little world. "In China giving the thumbs up is offensive..."
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 29, 2009 10:41:39 GMT -5
Reid let the tear run it's course down his face. After all "what's a tear with out a face, to soften it's down wared fall from grace"? People didn't give crying enough credit. They thought that it was bad, a sign of weakness. And many people thought that, but in truth there was nothing to be ashamed of for crying. There was so reason to hid it. It was a cleansing ritual. Everyone did it, and if you couldn't you were either really sick (Couldn't physically feel pain) or you were a psychopath, which neither was all that good. Not that Reid really ever lived by this train of thought, he knew that most people would see him as even weaker if he cried, but he knew krys was different, and he wanted her to know the same about him.
She started to open up now that she felt safe. And Reid listened. It wasn't only physically abuse, Reid was sure of that know, it was mental. He had beaten it into her that every time she did something wrong that she was a worthless piece of crap. That she reason he didn't hit his other kids was because they were good, but she wasn't. Everyone made mistakes, like dropping a cup, it was a fact of life. She had to have been really young, kids break things all the time. Reid felt sorry for her, he didn't pity her though, just saddened by what she had gone through. He wondered why it had to be her, but also knew she wouldn't have turned out the way she did if she hadn't been hit, but would the none abused Krys be the same, maybe better, Reid didn't know, and didn't care. Even if that meant he never meet her he wished that she could have never been abused. Maybe not be adopted by that family.
It took Reid a moment to respond. he was evening his voice, trying to to sound to sad because he was sure she would take that as pity, and the one thing she didn't want was pity. When he did speak it was genital, like talking to strange dog, "It's okay." he got out. That's when he looked at her. His heart sank again and he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled her in for a long, kind of awkwardly placed, hug. In her ear he whispered something he had heard his team say over and over again to rape victims, stalker victims, and even murder victims, "It wasn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve what he did to you. There's something wrong with him, not you, he's the one that choose to beat you, which wasn't right. Krys, there is nothing wrong with you, everyone makes mistakes." He pulled out of the hug and looked at her. He smiled kindly as he looked in to though brown eyes. He really liked those eyes. They were so loving and kind even though they were hurt and beaten down. She had so much life in her. So much to live for and to show. Her father had been a jerk that took his anger out on a great person, a person with a real spirit. After going through all that she still had the brightest soul in the room. He decided that he loved that soul.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 29, 2009 10:59:38 GMT -5
Her throat suddenly felt dry though her eyes felt so very wet. She didn't like this feeling which is why she avoided it like it was the plague. It made her hurt on the inside which wasn't something that you could fix with an ice pack or a bandage. It stung and wrung at her heart like two fists pushing against the muscle. For a moment she even felt short of breath as she suddenly lost the train of thought of her facts which she had been uttering quite rapidly in order to keep calm.
In quiet her brown eyes looked into Spencer's own sad ones, admitting in defeat in a weak little voice. "I seem to have forgotten my fact..." And that's when Spencer pulled her into a comforting hug. Initially she tensed, closing her eyes against it as if in pain, but as he whispered to her slowly her body relaxed, calming down when she realized this would be the end of the physical attention. No harm could come from this and certainly not from the likes of Spencer. She was safe here with him. Which was odd because Spencer wasn't exactly the most muscular or protective of forces, in fact she was sure that Matt Grimaldi was probably more intimidating. And yet, something about it just made her feel better.
"That's just what you say to people Spencer." She told him quietly, still hugged quite tightly against his chest as she let out a strained sigh. "I've heard Matt say it to a dozen people before back at CT. And it's not true. It really isn't." She wasn't trying to argue with him, to the contrary her voice was of a giving in tone where she just hoped and prayed that he would take her word for it. The stubborn young woman was actually too tired to even argue. Sometimes you just had to give up if you wanted certain topics to be left alone.
"For him to go past everyone else and go right for me..." Oh gosh, now she was rambling again. Promptly she swallowed her words and allowed them to wallow. As Spencer pulled away Krys initially hung her head, embarassed by how redenned her eyes had become. It wasn't even the whole story, just one instance, and she already was a mess. But still, even though she had been beaten by her alcoholic father she couldn't let him have the blame. No, there was always another reason and she was pretty sure she had deserved it.
"You know.." She finally managed to lift her head, her eyes on Spencer's again with a bit of a sniffle. "My dad's not a bad man, he's just not a very smart one." She told him in a quiet voice. "He's okay now though." She quickly wiped at her eyes with her upper arm to keep the tears that kept wanting to fall from coming. No point in letting anyone see her cry or be sad. Nothing good could come of that.
"I don't feel well..." She admitted quietly as she sat on the ice which was definitely a stretch for her because whenever she was sad or sick she never told anyone out of fear of dragging them down.
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Post by Dr. Spencer Reid on Jul 29, 2009 11:21:33 GMT -5
Reid was disappointed when it turned out that the stubborn girl had heard that phrase before. Quiet he respond with a simple, "Just because we say it doesn't mean it's not true." That wouldn't be enough to convince her though. It would take an army to get it through her thick skull that she wasn't any worse of a person than he was. In fact she might as well be better. At least she could take the abuse, he couldn't. But that wasn't the point. Looking down at the cold ice under them he said in no more than a whisper. "I see nothing wrong with you.... from where I am your the most perfect person." he sighed hoping that she hadn't heard that. It wasn't sure what it meant or why he had said it. He was just trying so hard to make her see that she wasn't a monster or anything bad. She was a normal human being.
"You know..." He said keeping his voice even. "Maybe it was because you were adopted... maybe he didn't see you as his own. Some people can't bare to hit their own kids, but someone not related to them...' Reid was sure he was just making it worse. That what he had just said was offensive and harsh. But he couldn't take it back now. Sighing he saw what needed to be done, something that he was afraid to bring up. If he father was better know then he was the only one that she could talk to, the only one that would give her the answers that she needed. If he told her that he was sorry, then she might have the power to forgive him and herself. Swallowing hard he looked back at her. Nervously he bit his lower lip before saying, "I think you should talk to him..." He looked back to the ground, knowing she wouldn't be a fan of that idea.
That's when she said she felt sick. Reid didn't feel that good either. It was always hard to talk about sad things. He smiled a half smile and looked around, "No wonder we're sitting in an ice rink." he tried to laugh but it came out kind of dry. He knew very well that that wasn't what she meant, but playing dumb was the best approach. "Maybe we should get out of here? Get something to eat maybe. How 'bout ice cream?" he sounded like he was talking to a little kid. But right now ice cream sounded like a good idea. Slowly he pulled himself up and reached his hand out, one of which was tightly holding the wall, for Krys to grab.
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Post by Krys Robin on Jul 29, 2009 11:34:07 GMT -5
Her brown eyes glanced up just in time to see Spencer struggle to his feet and offer his hand for her to take. Krys thought on it a few long moments before glancing slightly past him to the ice. "Okay. But just one thing.." She gave him a little nod but currently she had other plans in mind to carry out first, one of which was to get her friend further out onto the ice. Poor Spencer would have no idea until it was too late however.
Her right hand reached out and grabbed his larger hand, pulling herself to her feet she then hurried right around him (slipping as she did so). With a bit of a teary laugh, trying desperately to get back to her 'happy place' she attempted to drag him out onto the ice. Neither were in skates so they were in much the same boat. It was like walking across a frozen lake which Krys had done twice in her lifetime. But there was no sense in wasting a particularly good birthday present because she had almost cried. Krys was used to kicking emotions back downtown so people didn't have to deal with them.. So they could smile. She enjoyed that.
"Come on Spence!" She encouraged in a loud voice that echoed within the rink. It took some effort to drag Spencer forward because he was clinging to the wall, but Krys was a determined, energetic young woman and finally managed (if only by force) to get him racing along side her. Coming to a stop she smiled as she held onto his hand, hoping that he would copy her as she slid across the ice on her feet, outstretching her other arm to keep her balance.
Manuevering her body she turned around so to help Spencer to stop, her hands gently moving to his hips and firmly pressing against him so he didn't continue to slide all out of control. A bit breathless she laughed again, shaking her head though her eyes were still noticably red with the earlier tears that hadn't seemed to want to fall. She was trying, but to do what she had absolutely no idea. For some reason her heart seemed to be racing.. Could it have been from the little distance that she had sprinted? No, it didn't seem possible. She wasn't out of shape by any means. What was it?
Looking up at Spencer (he was taller than her) she smiled tiredly, her hands still holding him still. "You see what happens when you hang around me? You get yourself into fun situations like this." She was only partially teasing, but the coolness from the rink was now turning her cheeks a light shade of pink.
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