Alone You Breathe {Open}

[Dr. Spencer Reid]

It was a fine Saturday morning. Reid had awake with a good eight hour nights sleep. Luckily at no point did the BUA call him into work to come in. It had been a fairly quiet week with only two smaller cases, one which they didn't even leave town for and was resolved over night. The rest of the week was spent doing paper work, which Reid really didn't mind. Especially because his team members where all in good moods lately. No gruesome photos to make them angry and upset.

Reid had gotten out of his apartment as fast as he could, afraid that the longer he delayed the more likely he was going to get called into work on his day off. He wasn't sure where he was going at first, just that he wanted to get out of the house and work and do something any normal person would do on a Saturday. That's how he found himself at the Mall, which might of been a mistake. After taking fifteen minutes to find a parking spot he entered the overly crowded corridors of the building. The tightness of the space made Spencer feel a little overwhelmed and suddenly he wanted to leave. Yet he didn't. Instead he walked straight to the food court and bought a large coffee and a pastry that looked so unhealthy he could already feel the clot starting to form.

As he sat in the large open room he couldn't help but think of the time a terrorist had almost dumbed anthrax onto the people in the Mall. Luckily they had caught the cell before they could. That thought reminded the profiler of his encounter with the poison. On that wasn't more than a few days old. A sudden pang of fear and sorrow filled him. He had been so close to dieing that time. So close to never seeing his mother again. Sudden Reid realized just how loud it was and that it was close to twelve in the afternoon and yet he still hadn't been called. He pulled out his cell phone to make sure he hadn't missed a call. Oddly enough he hadn't. He set the phone next to the untouched pastry and coffee.

[Kara Barnhill]

It had been a long week; what with ample assignments given in classes. Kara had worn herself thin this semester, of that she was absolutely certain. She acknowledged, perhaps, that loading on the classes in such a way was not entirely healthy. However, she was twenty-five. She simply wanted to get out of the classroom and onto the field. If that meant taking well over full-time credit hours and working, so be it.

In fact, every night this week, she had been waiting tables until closing, then waking up at a reasonable hour to head off to lectures, labs and discussions. Just this last week alone she had attended two; one by some retired cop, and one by a BAU profiler who really had not looked all that much older than herself.


She always sat toward the front of the auditorium for lectures. Kara was, in fact, a wonderful listener. Just about anything could hold her interest for a time, and she was always one to put in much effort to learn and grow as a person. It was something that the young woman was known for. Still, when Doctor Reid had spoken, she had been directly in the second row. She had been so exhausted; she had not trusted herself to sit anywhere else for fear she would drift off to sleep. And insulting such a renowned member of the FBI was not exactly what the student had had in mind.

Returning to school for a second degree was proving to be much harder than Kara Barnhill had originally thought. But she kept her eye on the degree that awaited her at the end. And the career that would come of it. She certainly did not want to continue waitressing any longer than she had to.

The night previous she had returned from work at around one in the morning, and that morning at seven thirty her cell phone had woken her. Her mother was calling to check on her since she “hadn’t heard from her in a while”, and quickly asking if her dear daughter was planning on making it to their social.

There was no way she was going to make it back for it, and Kara had delicately explained to her mother her workload, with school and the job, and added thoughtfully that she was scheduled for that evening as well. “Sorry, Mama.” She had told her.

The conversation was over and done with by the time the clock read 7:43AM. Wondrous, the woman thought blandly, rolling out of bed. She was not set to go into work until later that afternoon. She had hours before Kara had even wished to be up. Still, she was quite awake, and thirsting for some sort of freeing activity.

She had hopped into her car and took off driving. The Mall would be a nice place to kill some time. There were lots of people to watch, and she fancied she might go pick up a new pair of dress shoes. She wasn’t going to miss socials for the rest of her life, after all. One couldn’t go ballroom dancing in the same shoes every time.

She had wandered around a bit aimlessly before heading over to the food court. It was, in Kara’s humble opinion, the best place to people watch in the entire mall. She was always looking for ways to exercise her profiling skills, though she would never openly admit to it. She quietly sat amongst the bustling crowd, when a tall man caught her eye.

He was ordering a cup of coffee and a pastry. Instantly, Kara realized who it was. It was, in fact, the guest speaker she had had at her school not but four days ago. Dr. Reid was at a mall? For a moment Kara did not quite know what to think of it. He had not seemed like the type to venture to such a crowded place. He had been quite nervous speaking in front of her class as it was.

Would it be strange to go speak to him? She thought absently, taking a sip of her own coffee. She decided against it. Like he would even know who I was. She laughed at herself. Still, Kara’s personality did take great joy in meeting new people and saying hello. She had finished her own coffee and the woman gracefully stood, throwing the now empty cardboard cup into the trashcan. She fancied it wouldn’t hurt to simply smile over to him. She had to walk by his table to leave the food court anyway. So, as the petite woman passed, she offered him a friendly smile, before beginning to move away.

[Dr. Spencer Reid]

Reid stared at the silent phone for a few moments, not sure what to do. He really didn't enjoy being here, in a crowded place. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave just yet. He could always go and find some new cloths to wear, after all it had been months sense his last shopping trip, there had been a lot going on lately. He hated shopping though, never knowing what to get or what really looked good. It was a wonder that he ever matched with the sense of fashion that he had. His eyes then moved from the phone to pastry and coffee, still untouched. Sighing he picked up the coffee and took a long drink of the simi-warm liquid. Then he picked up the pastry and took a bit. It was so good, which meant it was just that much more unhealthy. For a moment he considered throwing it away. Then again he rarely ever ate anything whether it was healthy or not, always to busy for food, so he figured it couldn't hurt. Anyway it tasted so good!

That's when he saw her. He knew right away who it was, well not her name. But he knew she had been in one of her lectures at the college. he never understood why the sent him, he wasn't any good at talking in front of others. That day he had been on his own, no Rossi or Morgan or JJ. Just him and he really didn't like that. At least when his friends were there they could help him through it, but by himself he almost died. He was sure that ever student in that class thought he was an idiot and would never join the FBI.

As the girl started to walk by she smiled. At first Reid thought it was a "make fun of" smile. But an instant later his profiling skills kicked in and he understood it as a kind smile. He smiled back thinking that thats all he would do. There was no need to take up conversation with a college student in the middle of the mall. But at the last second he said with out even thinking about it. "You were there for my speech weren't you?" He didn't know why he said that. But it was said and he was going to have to act like he had meant it. He smiled a shy smile and waited for an answer.

[Kara Barnhill]

It wasn’t like Kara was expecting a response from the man; after all, it was probably bothersome to be approached by students all the time. Especially for someone as intelligent as Dr. Reid. Surely someone of normal intelligence would come across rather dull, and uninteresting. And, he probably thought her younger than she truly was—for it was rare to find someone of her age still enrolled in school. Or, at least it seemed that way to her.

So when he spoke to her, Kara had been taken aback. She halted in her retreat though, and turned to face him. “Yes,” she smiled once again. “I was.” For a moment that was all she said, for a woman walked right through her line of sight to the sitting profiler, and she patiently waited for them to pass completely before taking a small step toward the man’s table.

She did not wish to upset him, nor cause him panic. He had seemed like a shy sort at the lecture, for certain. Still, it would be easier to carry on a conversation, however brief, in closer proximity. “You did a wonderful job.” She added thoughtfully. Sure, he had been a bit nervous; but it was, in fact, something Kara admired. To know that even the best of the FBI had a few things that could unnerve them comforted her. She, then, could make it herself. If she put in enough work.

“Your dealings with the Mill Creek Killer are very interesting. Catching him, and the Hollow Man by reading the newspaper. I’d have to say that is quite impressive.” Even when she had been in the auditorium listening through her tiredness, she had been momentarily critical of herself. She read a fair share of books. It was, perhaps, a passion of hers that had always been there. Still, she did not know if she would have been able to catch such a small detail like he had. If she had been working that case, she doubted either would have gotten caught. Or, at least not for a while.

It was strange, really. When he had been introduced to the group with his multiple degrees, Kara had begun to think of him as somewhat of a superhuman. Though, sitting there with his cup of coffee and pastry he seemed normal enough. Momentarily she wondered if speaking to him about such a thing made her seem a bit strange. On his time off, he probably did not wish to be bombarded with comments and things dealing with his work. So, she caught herself and held her tongue. What, then, should she say?

Commenting on the day would seem dreadfully bland. On the mall, even more mundane. He certainly was not one to enjoy the ordinary, she was sure. If there was anything about Kara that stood out amongst others, it was her drive to relate to people. Still, it was incredibly hard for her to relate to someone who was so well schooled and learned. If only because she had not been acquainted with him at all before then. “It must be disheartening to go speak at universities. Most college students don’t care to listen,” she offered a small laugh and then continued. “But there are a few of us that do.”

She had been trying to avoid speaking on his duties in the workplace. And she still found herself on them. Nice. She thought to herself. She was off to a great first impression. Inwardly she wished to sigh. Normally she was quite well with people. This, though, was almost a disaster on her part. And he had been kind enough to speak to her, too.

[Dr. Spencer Reid]

Reid took a long drink of his coffee thinking back to the day in question. The class itself had been very full. Most the the students were males, which wasn't a big surprise. In any kind of law enforcement class or lecture there was always more guys then there were girls. It was just a fact that guys wanted to get down and dirty more then girls did, and there was nothing wrong with that. He knew, though, for personal experience that females could be just as good at his job then males could. In many ways they were better because they had more feeling and empathy for the victims and victims normally felt more comfortable talking to a girl. The only draw back was that the UNSUBs say them as weak most the time, as well as some of the other officers they worked with. Meaning they had a harder time not only having to do their job but also prove themselves.

Reid nodded when she confirmed that she had been in the class. He didn't know what else to say so he figured the conversation would end there. But instead she continued to talk explaining the details of the Mill Creek Killer and the Hollow Man. He thought back on the details. It was amazing that the two killer had operated in the same city, unfortunate to the residence, and even more assume that they were talking through the newspaper. Reid found that one case fascinating in so many ways, and that was way he told the story in most the lectures he spoke at. In a way it should all the different aspects of his job and that it didn't take a big gun to catch a killer but a sharp mind. After all they wouldn't have caught either of the killers, well as easily both were starting to devolve so it wouldn't have been much longer before they both made huge mistakes. Reid thought it was important to let the students he talked to know that being an FBI agent wasn't all about the guns and adrenaline, and maybe with that he might draw some females into the bureau.

Again he nodded, only this time he said, "Its not that bad." He had to laugh at himself knowing that he really disliked it, but yet he could say it wasn't that bad. "It always did surprise me that they don't listen, though." He added. "I always thought most kids wanted to join the FBI..." He smiled up at the girl. "So you want to join the FBI?" She seemed like the kind of person that would make a good profiler. Her eyes were intelligent and observant. And she really did she to enjoy the works of criminals, or either she was going to catch them or be one. Reid hoped it was the first one. He would hate to have to lock her up if he ran into her in a few years. Again he laughed at himself silently. It was a bad joke, yet still kind of funny.

[Kara Barnhill]

The curly haired girl shifted her weight as her eyes tried to read into the seated young man. She was growing more and more aware that he thought her young. It seemed ironic, perhaps, that he did; when he was young himself. Or, at least young enough that holding his position was impressive as it was. Still, she kept her smile even.

"It always did surprise me that they don't listen, though."

Kara smiled here. It was increasingly strange to her that students didn't listen. College was not inexpensive, after all. If you were going to pay upwards to fifty thousand dollars for a piece of paper, it was in your best interest to at least learn something. Some scholarships eased the blow; but even while working full time it was hard to justify simply throwing the money away. "Well, it is surely their loss. There is a lot out there that they could learn," she mused almost sadly.

"So you want to join the FBI?"

"I do," Kara answered with a nod, brushing a brown curl behind her shoulder. "I would be interested in profiling." She motioned toward the lean man with her head, gently indicating his own position. "Much like yourself," she finished. She laughed slightly and crossed her arms rather comfortably and added something else. "I guess thats why I am back in school--for the psychology degree. I figure it will be nice thing for a resume."

She paused a moment and looked to him. She was not speaking to him to further her chances, and for a moment she was hyper aware of what kind of a person he seemed to be. She studied him, though not critically; Kara was, however, trying to asses how he was going to take such friendly conversation. She sought to ease his uncomfortableness, though she couldn't begin to see how.

"I am terribly sorry," she half laughed, offering another friendly smile--as if by doing so she could relay her sincere intentions. "You are probably busy." She fell silent once more. She, of course, had noticed the way he had been eagerly glancing at his phone--granted, before she arrived. Perhaps she was waiting for someone to join him. Still, for some reason, she could not bring herself to simply walk away. That would have come across as entirely rude.

[Dr. Spencer Reid]

Reid nodded. He knew that most college students didn't go in their own money. Most of them got loans for their parents and some from the bank. Then there was the kids like him, who went on scholarships. They were the ones, along with the people using their own money most the time, that you didn't have to worry about blowing their money. The reason they got the scholarships was enough to ensure that they wouldn't be slacking off. Then there was always people like him that got a free ride, though his free ride was a pit different then others. It wasn't everyday that a thirteen year old went to college. He could have snatched up every scholarship they had out there, for academic reasons.

"You want to be a profiler?" He asked rhetorically. "It is a great job, but you have to make sure you have what it takes to be one. Its not just all fun and games. You see a lot of stuff that is hard to handle. You learn about all the bad in the world. You have to be sure you can look out from the abyss when you come to it." Reid said not even realizing at first that he was giving the exact some speech Gideon had given him when he had said he wanted to join the BAU. Some how Reid found it his responsibility to worry the pour girl about the job she was trying to get into. He didn't want to her to waste all her time and money on getting that Psychology degree then finding out that she didn't have what it took to be a profiler. "Actually, I think I might be able to get you into the BAU for one of out cases. To see if you can handle it or not... I mean I would have to talk to my boss first, but I think it might be able to happen."

He smiled at the girl, knowing that he was doing a good think. He knew if she really wanted to be a profiler she would rejoice at the news he had given her. It felt good. But he was also scared that he might have given her false help. He couldn't really be that sure that Hotch would allow a college student to sit in on an investigation. "By-the-way, what's your name?" He realized that he didn't know it. It would be kind of hard to get her in with out knowing her name.

[Kara Barnhill]

Despite the fact that Kara was going to end the conversation and move off to avoid causing him further discomfort, the young man seemed to not wish the conversation to end so much as she had read, and instead continued to speak to her. And, he seemed to try and speak to her on the less glamorous things that he had to deal with daily, and her smile grew weak.

“I know,” Kara murmured quietly. It was something she was aware of, still…she felt compelled to continue trying to make it. “I cannot ignore that these things happen. Not when I can help.” She whispered urgently. She was not entirely sure if the Doctor had heard, because he had continued with quite a more uplifting topic: getting her to sit in on a case.

Her smile brightened slightly, though she did well to keep herself composed. No use looking like a child. “I would be very much interested,” she began casually. Still, the excitement was hard to contain. “I understand it might be difficult, so do not feel completely obligated.” She offered a brighter smile. Still, it would be so helpful to see it, to do it. It would be lovely to work with such talented agents. To see a team truly in action.

"By-the-way, what's your name?"

“Kara. Barnhill.” She answered simply, though she did adopt a laughing smile as she added, “It seems a bit strange, I presume, for me to already know you, Dr. Reid.”

It sounded quite formal, for being in a mall in the food court. Still, that had been how he was introduced, and he probably thought her young enough to not use his first name. She tilted her head a bit and looked to him.

“May I ask what brings you to a mall?” She was trying to make a pleasant conversation. She was not, of course trying to pry; and her tone reflected such a thing. “It doesn’t seem like something you’re prone to do,” she offered kindly.

[Dr. Spencer Reid]

Reid was aware that the subject he was talking about was a little grim. After all he was telling her that she might not be able to do what she really wanted to do. What he didn't really realize was that it wasn't so much that you couldn't handle it, it was how well you could handle it. If was able to do the job and get through the day then he was sure anyone could it the placed their mind to it. After all his it was something he really wanted ti do and you knew that you had to help some how then he was sure that they would find a way to get over the gruesome thought and pictures the job brought about. In many ways it wasn't really as bad as he made it all seem to be.

"You get used to it." He muttered half to himself. It was odd to think that in the past people knew his name in school, but in the bad way, and now people knew his name and thought that he was the coolest guy in the world. Being she smart and cleaver. catching killers and monsters. It was really to over whelming to think that he could be known by so many people that he didn't know. He wrote articles and published his work all the time, but never did he think about the people that read it and thought about him. he never wanted to be famous. Maybe that's why he went into law enforcement instead of doing something that would get his name out there. He could defanitly be the one to cure cancer or something to that effect, and yet he didn't want to be that guy. he liked helping the world out from behind the currant.

Turning away from the unpleasant thoughts he smiled. She was right that he wasn't used to going to the mall. In truth he really didn;t know why he was here now. He obviously wasn't having to much fun. "I have the day off." He said plainly, it was odd to say that, after all most people had the week-ends off. "Or more like I haven't been called in to work yet." He rephrased. "So I decided to come down and get something to eat then maybe find some new cloths..." he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal, though he knew she found it weird that a agent like him would just go to the mall. It was like when your a kid and you don't think your teachers leave the school at all, then you see one at the store.

[Kara Barnhill]

"Day off? Those must be few and far between." Kara mused kindly, offering a smile that bordered on comforting. It was a hard job to hold. That, the brunette was well aware of. Still, it was one that Kara yearned for. "But if anybody deserves one, it's you and your team." That was also true. It seemed to her, that when he had spoken at the college a few days earlier, that Spencer Reid was one to work nonstop; and never take a day off.

"So I decided to come down and get something to eat then maybe find some new cloths..."

It was a long drive, truly, to just get some clothes and something to eat. Kara enjoyed the crowds and bustle. Or, at the very least, it didn't bother her. Growing up in New York, it was something she was well used to. "New clothes are always good," she agreed. Kara clasped her hands in front of her for a moment. "I myself may pick up a new pair of heels for a new dress I have."

Later in the week, she was going to take a dreadfully long flight to Hawaii so that she could compete in the ballroom competition her mother had booked her for. Along with the top students of their studio. She truly had no time for such things. Still, now that she was paid for and enlisted, she could not rightly refuse.

She gave a slightly embarrassed but friendly smile as she looked to him. "If you are here by yourself, Dr. Reid, I would love to ask you a few questions." She had a feeling that he was there by himself. And, so was she. If on the off chance they walked the mall together, that would give her quite an opportunity to get some questions answered, and just speak to an experienced member of the field. The prospect was exciting to the young woman, though she was quite well in control of herself so she didn't come across as too strong.

She inwardly hoped that he was not offended by her somewhat bold request for company. Still, that was Kara's personality. A bit bold, very expressive and kind. Surely he could not read her as a cold person, and could see the warmth in her eyes and her person. "I do not mean to be so bold," she added with a light laugh. "If that makes you uncomfortable, I am sincerely sorry."