Amusing fandom quiz

[Aaron Hotchner]

Okay, this is tons of fun. It doesn't really need explaining, since I'll be doing one, but:

1. Pick a fandom
2. Choose 12 characters from that fandom in any order
3. Fill this out.
4. Amuse me. (:


1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.


Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?


What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?

Can you rec any fic(s) about 9?


Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

5/9 or 5/10? Why?

What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 having sex?

Make up a summary for a 3/10 fic.

Is there any such thing as 1/8 fluff?

Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic.

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 to deflower 1?
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 slash?

Does anyone on your friends list read 3 het?

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?

Would anyone on your friends list write 2/4/5?

What might 10 scream out at a moment of great passion?

If you write a songfic about 8, which song would you choose?

If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warnings be?

What might a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?

When was the last time you read a fic about 5?

What is 6's super-secret kink?

Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or sober?

If 3 and 7 get together, who tops?

"1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief, unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?

Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11?

Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?

12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

What would 5 most likely be arrested for?

If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night,

Would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?

[Aaron Hotchner]

Yeah, so, I tried this a different way first, but it came out stupid except for one part of it involving fish and innards and such things, so I'll just post the old one I did.

--

1. Morgan
2. Elle
3. Garcia
4. Rossi
5. Hotch
6. J.J.
7. Pirate!Hotch
8. Reid
9. Emily
10. Asparagus!Reid
11. Gideon
12. Pillsbury DoughBoy!Morgan


1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

J.J. /Gideon? No, couldn’t say that I have…

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Rossi. Er.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Pillsburydoughboy!morgan got Reid pregnant? Baby dough-rolling geniuses!

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Emily. Not Emily in particular, but she’s obviously been in fics I’ve read.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Elle/J.J. Well now.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Hotch/Emily. Or Hotch/Asparagus!Reid? Well, H/E for non-crack purposes. But how could you pass up Asparagus!Reid? I mean, come on!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Pirate!hotch walked in on Elle and Pillsburydoughboy!Morgan having sex. He’d go “Arggg matey! What’s this you be doin’ to the poor lass? GTFO.” And we’d all just die because that’s funny in some convoluted way we have yet to discover yet.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Garcia/Pillsburydoughboy!Morgan. Co-workers who are more than friends? $50 in bets. Garcia's latest outfit? $65.78 Dating your co-worker who just happens to be the Pillsbury DoughBoy? Oh, that's just priceless.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff

Morgan/Ried. JELLO. ‘nough said.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Pirate!Hotch/Pillsburydoughboy!Morgan. PBDB!Morgan gets stranded at sea and Pirate!Hotch decides to lend a hand. The two find that they share a lot in common, both being alternate, crack’d personas of other fictional characters and Pirate!Hotch and PBDB!Morgan decide to open a floating pirateship!bakery that sells Pillsbury products. The end.

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Jkldhkjghkljdxhkldshf a song for Reid? That depends on what I was going for, but probably angst. I love me some angst. In that case, probably "Hello" by Evanescence.

Or The Bird and the Worm by the Used.

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Morgan/J.J./PBDB!Morgan. Warning: Crack. J.J. is caught between two sides of the same man, but one of them is suspiciously shorter, made of dough, and very giggly when you poke his tummy.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Hotch. Yesterday. (yayy.)

13. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

“Morgan and Pirate!Hotch are in a happy relationship, until Pirate!Hotch runs away with Rossi. Morgan, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Gideon and a brief, unhappy relationship with PBDB!Morgan, then follows the wise advise of Hotch and finds true love with Garcia.”

I dub this: “How Things Will Play Out Under The Right circumstances.”

14. How would you feel if 7/8 was canon?

Pirate!Hotch/Reid. I would die, is what. Just plain –Die- (Some Crack’d!up part of my brain can see this, and it’s Fucking Hilarious. You have no idea.)

15. Who would make a better college professor: 6, or 11?

J.J.or Gideon? Probably Gideon, since he’s all wise and things.

16. Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?

Elle.

17. 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

PBDB!Morgan sends Reid on a mission: to find the mystical Baking Jello. And of course, Reid being Reid, he succeeds. But not before getting kidnapped and worrying everyone, because that’s just how he does. Of course he comes out unscathed and brandishing the prized Baking Jello like the mythical trophy it is.

18. What would 5 most likely be arrested for?

Hotch would most likely be arrested for Overworking. The Team would get together and hold an intervention for Hotch’s work-a-holicness, and kidnap him to do it, which is kind of like being arrested since the FBI are like cops, only cooler. So yeah.


19. If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?

In the company of Pirate!Hotch or Reid? I’d pick Reid, yo. But Pirate!Hotch would be amusing to walk around with. We’d probably end up singing a rousing rendition of “A Pirate’s Life for Me.” But since Reid would protect me if there were any freakish looking unsubs out there, (and Pirate!Hotch would probably just go “Argghhh” in a threatening manner but do little else) I’d go with Reid, thanks.

[Derek Morgan]

*The quiz I did is a different one - I'll post the form for it tomorrow, when I have half a brain. Yeah.


Let's Mix & Match!
1. Strauss
2. Garcia
3. Emily
4. Rossi
5. Morgan
6. Spence
7. Hotch
8.JJ
9. Gideon
10 Elle

1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

Rossi invites Emily and JJ to dinner at his house. Rossi, seeing the opportunity to show off his cooking skills, sets out a nice Italian meal, concluding it with some fancy serenading. JJ, fallen to the depths of her hero worship, sways to the music. Emily tries to hold her gag reflex at bay.

2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?

From Agni’s brain, across AIM, from my fingertips to you:

"It'll be good for you."

"No, no way. Sorry man, but Derek Morgan doesn't DO yoga. Go find Reid, he'll go with you. He probably even owns yoga pants."

3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?

I need to stay at a friend’s house for the night, and do to Unforseen Circumstances, all other options in the world have disappeared and I have only two options. These options are Erin Strauss and Spencer, my Spencer.

If I wanted to repetitively heave my lunch and feel the need to punch babies, I’d choose Strauss.

This is not something I want. Spence it is.

4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?

Garcia and Hotch are making out, underneath the desk in Garcia’s computer room. Hotch’s head hit the table, and one of Garcia’s smiley face stress balls fell off and hit the floor. It made a squeak noise.

Elle Greenaway walks in.

The first thing that everyone in this room notices is that she has made an improvement on her post!unraveling hair. She is now bald, having ripped it all out in frustration of the sheer weirdness of it, and how badly it just needed to go.

Everyone forgets what they were doing, and congratulates Elle on the “hair”, while she stares and wonders exactly what happened while she was gone.

5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

Emily falls in love with Reid. JJ is jealous. JJ realizes that she has a boyfriend, who looks like a girlfriend, and decides to shank Emily, and take Reid for herself, leaving Will on the sidelines.

6) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?

Rossi decides he wants a nice human steak for dinner, and jumps me in a dark alley. Like the flying lemur we all know he is, he does this from a fire escape – leaping off, spreading his arms, and tackling me while screaming “arrrghhhh” like a pirate. His pits smell bad. Garcia, Hotch, or Elle shall save me.

Hotch shall save me, but he shan’t smile while doing so. Not even after. xDDDD

7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

Strauss decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, she’s suspending the cucumbers for two weeks because she confused them with Hotch, and she’s telling the bok choy that she wants reports on everything that the cucumbers do. Suffice to say, she gets sent away, but she manages to take the asparagus with her, because she wants some company in jail. She always did like Reid best.

9) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?

Emily has to marry either JJ, Rossi, or Gideon. Gideon’s off in another country, protecting his sanity. JJ’s got Reid (see above), so Emily’s stuck with the serenading Rossi. It’s actually a curse, you see. It can’t come off for the next seventy years, and he has to keep singing all that time. Poor Emily.

10) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?

Hotch kidnaps Garcia and demands something from Morgan for Garcia’s relief…. Release, even, but maybe he’s not allowing her to pee, either. Hotch demands to be put on the show ‘Deal or No Deal”, to help him ‘deal’ with the PTSD that has plagued him since Foyet.

11) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?

You get to meet either your worst nightmare or Captain my captain.

Aka, strauss or Spence.

Hello, Department of Easy Choices, I’d like my money back, you made the choice too easy.

12) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?

Elle challenges Rossi to a chariot race. She’s done this because she’s unraveling and believes she lives in the seventh century. Elle uses Morgan and Gideon as her horses for the wagon, and Rossi uses Reid and Strauss. It’s amusing to watch. JJ eats popcorn on the sidelines with Garcia.

13) Everyone gangs up on 3. Does 3 have a chance in hell?

Emily is ganged up on – she has a gun, yes, but so does everybody else. Damn. Time for another replacement. Elle throws in a few extra punches for good measure.

14) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?

Garcia and Elle, by some strange twist of events, are getting married, and JJ’s not invited. It’s because she’s off dealing with the media. She doesn’t mind. She’s got Spence.

15) Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because seven eight nine? No, it’s because Reid, he knows that Morgan is a jello thief, and he’s afraid it’ll happen again. He doesn’t want that, not at all, so he’s fearful. You have to be fearful of jello thieves, because they’re aware that every diet needs a little wiggle room.

16) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

Elle gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale.

“Once upon a time, a nice man named Donkey Kong brought a nice young lady to Jamaica. She got arrested it sucked, she dropped the head on her way in. Afterwards, she went home and got shot. She began to unravel. The end.”

17) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late?

Strauss arrives late for Garcia and Elle’s wedding. Sorry, she was off being an ass and causing problems.

18) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

Morgan and Gideon get roaring drunk and arrive at my house. We decide to play strip poker, which Gideon is excluded from because nobody wants to see the rocks that he’s got. Then, in a strange turn of events, Reid and Hotch show up. Wow, things are getting interesting.

19) 3,8,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?

Emily, JJ, Spence, and Rossi all go to the zoo for JJ’s birthday. Around noon, the clan stop for lunch, at Burger Shack United, and then they head to the rest of the exhibits, which they have yet to see. It’s all going alright until they head to the section with the wild dogs.

Around one, they stop for a replacement lunch, during which they give JJ her presents.

Rossi, in his classical egotistical self, decided to give JJ the entire box set of his books – signed, each and every one. In a classic guy move, he left his phone number with the words ‘Hey, JJ, want to be the fourth?’

Emily gives JJ an airplane ticket to DC, where she promises that she can persuade someone to help JJ get a restraining order against Rossi.

Spence, being the most adorable of all persons, gets her a matching purple scarf. She wears it. Because it’s a scarf, and, hello captain obvious, that’s what you do with scarves.
Oh, what happened to number 20? It’s soul went off to live with Tobias. Sorry. (Aka, it’s not here because of some strange word malfunction.)

21) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?

Gideon murders Garcia’s best friend. Garcia, besides herself at Morgan’s murder, adopts his catchphrase “Revenge is a bitch.”

You see, the unsub that murdered Sarah?

Wasn’t Frank. Wasn’t Frank at all.

22) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1?

These two always seem to meet up. Strauss and Reid are in mortal danger, and Reid can either save himself, or Strauss, because she decided she’d become old and frail. In fact, that was how they got in this predicament. Reid, being the nice person that he is, decided that he’d visit her in the nursing home that Hotch put her in for five dollars a day. It’s not a nice one, but it’ll do. She does like rats, right?

Anyway, he figures she’s lived long enough.

24) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?

I don’t really know how Morgan became trapped in a cave in the first place – what happened to his battery arms and all? Oh, that’s right. That’s what kept him in there. His battery arms, you see, they were smaller when he went in, but then he decided to work out and now his battery arms are stuck inside! He sticks his right foot out, he puts his right foot in, but nothings working.

Elle appears. She smiles and waves at Morgan, and reminds him of Jamaica.

Damn, Morgan’s going to have to wait until his batteries lose their … juice.

25) 3 starts a day camp. What happens?

Emily starts a day camp, one bright and sunny morning, and just as it’s starting, she gets a call from Hotch. Quickly, she puts the co-owner in charge, and, announces to the children: “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go catch a serial rapist now. He stuck his thingy wingy inside innocent people. I’m going out there to catch him so this can’t happen to you! But remember, there are others out there like this. That’s why you should always use the buddy system!”

“But – a cereal rapist? Is that how he gets his Kixs?”

“That’s his M.O., yes.”

The next day, parents of these children were surprised to find that children would not eat their cereal – mainly Kixs.

26) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?

Rossi, Spence, and Hotch are doing the Hokey-Pokey. They’re just putting their right foot in and shaking it all about when JJ walks in, surprised out of her mind. She films this, and takes it to Garcia.

If you’re lucky enough to find Garcia’s youtube channel…

What they didn’t know, was that this was all for a case!, or so says Rossi. They were trying to get inside the mind of the Hokey-Pokey Killer. Who killed by making his victims do the hokey pokey until they dropped dead. He found that around the 290410 time they put their right hand in, they were dead.

27) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction?

Strauss starts to write a story where Gideon and Elle are going out. Garcia, afraid of Strauss ever since the “talk dirty to me” incident, hangs back and reads over her shoulder .It’s no good, but Garcia warns Elle anyway, asking her why so many people seemed to pair her with Gideon. Neither really knew, but both lost their lunches.

28) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

Hotch makes an apple pie. It’s the best.

29) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

JJ and Emily go camping, and forgot to bring food, because for some reason, they forgot that trees weren’t edible. They call up Garcia, who directs them to the nearest Burger King.

Unfortunately, that’s how they had it their way.

30) While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do?

Well, considering that JJ is Alice and Emily is Bella, that sucks for James, doesn’t it? Emily will have the emotional scarrage for most of her life, but JJ has a nice head for a keepsake.
Unfortunately, Elle asked to see it, and dropped the head on her way in there.

31) The quiz is over. What does everyone go to do now?

Puppet show, BAU theatre!